You can talk about near escapes

and dangers you have seen,

but I'll tell you how my life was spared

by a can of pork and beans.

​

I do not like their flavor 

that is one sure bet,

but beans once saved my bacon,

that's why I'm livin' yet.

​

One day in middle summer

when the sky was clear and blue,

I was going across the mountains

to a fishing hole I knew.

​

I didn't take no grub along,

I thought I'd travel light,

and if I didn't catch no fish,

I wouldn't eat a bite.

​

I was rigging up my fishing gear

and there behind my back

the old lady grabbed a can of beans

and threw them in the pack.

​

And after many weary miles 

before the close of day,

at last I saw that fishing hole

a hundred yards away.

​

I was awful hungry

but I didn't give a damn,

I could almost smell them fishes

sizzlin' in the pan.

​

Them fish just wasn't hungry

though I tried with all my might,

with every fly and lure I had

but still they wouldn't bite.

​

At last I threw my fish pole down

and crawled behind a tree,

and there I fought mosquitoes 

until the break of day.

​

I thought I'd take another look

for a lure that I'd passed by,

and there that can of pork and beans

looked me in the eye.

​

I soon had opened that can of beans

and sat upon the ground,

and like a hungry wolverine,

I gulped the whole works down.

​

Oh, I flipped them flies out neatly

but every cast did fail,

then like an old whipped hound dog,

I headed up the trail.

​

I didn't think that anything

could ever look so mean.

There stood the biggest grizzly bear

that I had ever seen.

​

I remembered the old times

and what my pappy said.

If you ever meet a grizzly bear,

just make believe you're dead.

​

I flopped myself upon the ground

and quietly I lay,

but I knew that gol darn can of beans

would soon give me away.

​

My stomach was a hurtin' 

but I didn't dare complain,

so I rolled over on my back

to try and ease the pain.

​

That's when them beans exploded,

it even shook the trees.

That bear rose up on his hind legs

and slowly sniffed the breeze.

​

He had a pained expression

as his nose he twirled around

which really gave me courage

as I lay upon the ground.

​

Then came the next explosion,

there was an awful din.

With a little help on my part

them beans went off again.

​

That bear got down upon all fours

with a look as if to say

"When I see anything that smells that bad,

I'll go the other way!"

​

So keep the bean pot boiling

and cook them till they're done.

I do not like to eat them

but God bless them every one!